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Bullshit Management Squad
Comprehensive operational and business process redesign service aimed at boosting efficiency, freeing up resources and destroying costs
Sometimes,
The Projects Get Fucked Up
And we are the kings of the "Fucked Up Mountains"
We Are Happy To UnFuck Things Up For You
Check out the services available to you
  • IT Product/Business Management
    Helping startups and corporations get through challenges. Even if it's fucked beyond repair.
  • WTF Management
    Even if you don't know what is happening, we are happy to help you out.
  • Operation "Django Unchained"
    We'll get rid of all the useless handiwork so you can get on with the really important stuff. The OP and the bureaucracy will be A-T-M'ed.
  • Communication & Personnel
    Problems with chain of command and performance? Sabotage and internal corruption? That sucks. But we've seen worse.
  • High Costs / Low Perfomance
    Turnover is growing, but no profit? Or is the turnover decreasing and you need to get out of the loss immediately? A bloated staff with low operational efficiency? We'll be glad to sort it out.
  • Change Management
    Everyone reaches a crisis sooner or later. And every change in company is a real pain in the ass. Especially, if you've never done anything like that before.
“
Our work is all about "Effective Imperfection".
We make as many little changes as it needed to make things work. Then – we fuck off.

Not ideal. Not perfect. But effective, profitable and manageable.
Mary Frank, "Bullshit Management Framework Manifesto"
How do we work – Milestones
1
Onboarding
We discuss the goals of cooperation. We conduct a survey, immerse ourselves in the organization's activities. Develop a survey report containing the identified root problems and a plan of measures to eliminate them.
2
Vision & Roadmap
We develop a cooperation strategy. We agree on a project schedule to eliminate the identified problems.
3
A Mile of Shit and Storm
Together with the client's team we eliminate the identified problems, build a new management system for the organization.
4
Team Dilding & Team Building
Recruit new employees, fire old inefficient ones, select and implement IT solutions. Train employees.
5
Independence
All processes are fine-tuned, the new system of your business functions effectively autonomously - without the intervention of Mary Frank.
No
Projects We Are Not Interested In
  • Working through a middleman
    We work specifically and directly with the owners. The only way to solve the fuck-up is to cooperate with the person who makes the final decision.
  • Just to make more money
    Sorry, but if you are not struggling from any sort of chaos – we are not interested. Nevertheless, good job!
  • Improvements without any changes or "making a miracle"
    We are neither business coaches, magicians nor Sam Bankman-Fried to promise miracles.
  • Scam-projects
    If you are offering some shady shit, you are very welcome to go and fuck yourself.
Pricing
If someone charges you a price without understanding your tasks, they're full of shit.
  • We don't know the scope of the work to be done
    We don't know what needs to be done, how it needs to be done, or when. Thus, it makes no sense to announce any conditions.
  • We don't know the level of "fucked-up"ness
    We don't know your current status and the stage of both your challenges and your project.
  • We don't know a fucking thing at all.
    Which means we can't articulate anything at all in terms of cost and timing. We only work with fuck-ups. And where there's fuck-ups, there's always an individual route to follow. Which means all the answers come only after the initial introduction.
Our Achievements
So far so good
  • $132,7 mln
    Client's investments saved
  • Fuck-All
    Unethical decisions
  • One Dickhead
    Who said that we suck
  • 30 days
    To find the cause of pain
So why hire us?
  • We see dead people products every day
    We were lucky enough to work not just with fucked-up products, but with products that died before they even hit the market. We understand very well what and why leads to failure.
  • We fucking love what we do
    Our team of motherfuckers are highly skilled, highly competent, and highly motivated. We know how to identify problems and we know how to solve them.
  • We're also discreet
    We understand that sometimes you need to take care of things behind the scenes. We'll do our job, and we'll do it quietly.
  • We speak with you on a plain human language
    We don't use bullshit-wordings and don't play charades.